Today is my secretary/mother-in-law's birthday. How my secretary became my mother-in-law is a story for another day, but for today the subject matter for this comedy is altogether different.

After last minute web surfing for printable gift certificates, e-this or that, or online gifts (with no luck), I opted to send flowers. Simple enough, right? Perhaps not.

I called a local florist and said, "I'd like to place an order for delivery." If the frequency with which we order pizza isn't apparent from that opening line, it should be.

Anyway, I requested a lovely plant, one that would be re-plantable outside in the spring, suggesting a newness and freshness for her new phase in life (I won't offend by sharing which phase, suffice it to say, it was a milestone birthday).

"I don't have anything that can be replanted out side." the florist responded.

After other back-and-forths about the arrangement, the price range, delivery time, etc., I was satisfied that the order was appropriate for the occasion.

After we hung up, however, I realized that the florist had not taken my credit card number or address for billing. I called back, "Yes, ma'am I just called and placed an order, but how am I supposed to pay you?"

She responded, "Oh, we will just bill your office account."

I paused, "My account..."

"Yes, sir. I think your secretary set it up a while back."

"Oh, right," I remembered, "my account...for funerals, retirements and stuff...okay, just bill me." I was pleased. Now, not only will the gift be a tax deductible gift to an employee, but we will not miss the money in our personal account. Lovely.

Then I remembered, "&#*$!@, she'll get the bill for the flowers...(insert Homer Simpson, "Doh!" here)!"

So much for removing price tags. Perhaps I should go by and pay for it before the bill gets sent and just take the tax hit.